ReForming Masculinity • Stopping Rape
a 4+ hour training at
The National Coalition Against Sexual Assault Conference,
August 16, 1997
"Teaching A Loving, Consensual (and Torrid) Sexuality In A Rape Culture"
Some Student Athlete Reactions:
"I came into the room with negative thoughts about this topic. However, you made the talk very interesting and I will be leaving with a positive image about what you are doing. You are very good at what you do."
"I wish I wouldn't have thought so much with my sex drive as opposed to my conscience or feelings."
"Asking is the best way. Even though you are, or have been, intimate with a person for a long time you should always ask and not assume because she wants to mess around that that means she wants to have sex."
"[I learned] to take sex seriously and not just [see it] as a hobby. Not to take advantage of women."
Quotes from girls and women in workshops, speeches and trainings:
Few boys have previously heard a man speak out against sexual assault; neither have many girls or women. My presentation style has been designed predominantly with the needs, communication style and experiences of boys and men in mind. Most boys and men are extremely positive about my presentations. I don't take boys and men for granted, but I know their lives so I expect that I will connect with them. I reject and react to the victim-blaming that comprised much of the messages women have received. It is heartening that so many (not all) girls also respond well to my work. The following are a few selected quotes from girls and women.
"Your work is your gift to us."
"It felt good to hear women spoken about so respectfully and so openly."
"The workshop was not heavy or disgusting. Joseph preserved the delight and pleasure and intimacy without degrading women or men while discussing sexual assault."
"I was very pleased with the section on How Rape Hurts Men. We will use that. It's a direction I'm really happy to be going in. You have stretched my parameters. I received validation for the direction I was going."
"Great work Joe. It was a "treat" to be in a space where a male can present these issues with total honesty, empathy and compassion."
"As a female educator, I personally enjoyed the insightful 'snapshot' into the male mind as presented by Mr. Weinberg. The evening workshop was thorough, professional and provided essential training for those of us who are parents or who deal with youth in our community."
was awesome. I have already quoted some of the things you have
said. Your presentation is so real and very applicable. I wish
that every person had this understanding of the truth about life
"I was surprised by the blatant honesty of the speaker."
"I was uncomfortable with the whole topic, but I was glad he was humorous so I could keep from crying." "I got more insight into the minds of men. EEK!"
"I thought the harsh manner in which this was discussed is what is needed to gain kids my age attention. Excellent job."